


Stay the night, stay forever

by littlefandom



Series: We Can Talk About Everything [9]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 5+1 Things, Alec Lightwood Deserves Nice Things, Alternate Universe - Human, Caring Alec Lightwood, Communication, Decisions, Developing Relationship, Doctor Magnus Bane, Firsts, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane Deserves Nice Things, Medical Conditions, Moving In Together, Non-Consensual Touching, Pillow Talk, Plans For The Future, References to Depression, Sick Magnus Bane, Writer Alec Lightwood, only mentioned and it's about magnus' patients, soft boyfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,686
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25905490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlefandom/pseuds/littlefandom
Summary: "Alec has stayed the night countless times at this point. He basically spends all the time he can here, which Magnus wholly approves of. Letting go of Alec now feels like such a surrealistic concept."Glimpses of a journey where Magnus realises just how much he wants to have Alec close, how he'd love for him to stay, most preferably forever.Or, five times Magnus asked Alec to stay + one time he didn't have to.
Relationships: Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood
Series: We Can Talk About Everything [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1189639
Comments: 12
Kudos: 166





	Stay the night, stay forever

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!  
> After the last part of the series here we go with some Magnus' pov on how he came to the conclusion that he wants Alec to move in with him. Mostly just fluff, with some little bits of angst. 
> 
> Part of the series can be read alone but contains mentions from the last story.
> 
> Enjoy the read!

It’s their fourth date.

And it’s not the first time Alec has been in Magnus’ loft. He dropped by for dinner just a week ago, they spent an evening on the couch last Monday, watching some shitty movies after their date night. Two weeks ago, they also ended up at Magnus’ for some drinks, same as tonight.

So in what way is today different? Well, tonight, Magnus would really want Alec to stay.

He’s never spent the night yet. Which is fine, they’re not rushing anything, going at their own pace. It’s not even that Magnus wants him to stay for sex, he’s not opposed to it, by all means, but the truth is, that it gets harder and harder for him to say goodbye to Alec when the time comes. He doesn’t want to let him go, no matter how pathetic it sounds, that’s the truth.

When he leaves the kitchen with two glasses of wine in hand and spots his boyfriend settled comfortably on the couch, he can’t stop his thoughts from racing. Making Alec comfortable here is one of his goals, he wants him to feel good in his own space and hopes that he’ll be spending some more time here.

Magnus drops down on the couch next to Alec, handing him a glass which he gratefully takes. Alec keeps looking at him with that soft smile and Magnus would desperately want to know what’s going through his head now. Instead, after taking a sip of his own wine, he picks the conversation back where they left off.

“So,” Magnus shifts on the couch a bit to get more comfortable, Alec’s eyes ever leave him “how come you became a writer?”

Alec swirls wine around in his glass for a few seconds, pursing his lips before answering.

“I guess I always wanted to be,” He admits “I’ve always had stories I wanted to tell.”

“How long have you been writing, then?” Magnus inquires, observing him above the rim of his glass.

“Having stories in your head and actually writing them are two totally different things, you know,” Alec states more jokingly and Magnus chuckles to his words “I think I started writing in the true sense of this word sometime in high school. But I wasn’t ready to share anything back then. Also, my parents weren’t thrilled with the idea of me studying creative writing, not law like they wanted me to.”

Magnus nods. Alec told him a bit about his parents and how they still haven’t accepted their son’s career path, although Alec’s already set, published his first book and is working on a next one. It doesn’t seem like he’s planning on ever changing his occupation. Magnus finds himself kind of curious about his relationship with his parents. Was it always that bad? Did is start getting bad when he announced he wants to write? But he never asks, he knows it’s a tough subject for Alec to talk about and is grateful for whatever he’s ready to share for now.

“So it was a tough pill to swallow for them,” Alec continues lightly “still is at some point, but I have my siblings' support.” He smiles at this thought.

Magnus can’t wait to finally get the chance to meet the amazing Lightwood siblings. Alec speaks very highly of them and he knows that they mean a lot to him and he loves them so much.

“What about you?” Alec steers the conversation back to Magnus now “Why a doctor?” He takes a sip of his wine, watching Magnus and waiting for his answer.

A heavy sigh escapes Magnus’ lips before he gets to stop it. He doesn’t have an elaborate answer for that, no life-changing story. It’s just pure and simple with him.

“As cliché as it sounds,” He starts “it’s because I wanted to help people, save them. So if you’re looking for some life alternating story then I’m sorry, but there isn’t one.” He admits with a chuckle.

“You don’t need a story,” Alec just shrugs “it’s still a noble cause. And a tough job, I suppose. First all of the years of studying and then… can’t say it’s getting easier, can you?” He teases lightly.

“Yeah, exactly,” Magnus agrees with a smile of his own, looking down into his glass “but I still love it.”

“That’s the most important,” Alec retorts “doing what you love.”

Magnus looks up to replay him, but when he does, he finds Alec way closer than he was just a few moments ago. Not that he minds.

“I guess we’re lucky,” He says, his palm instinctively wandering to sweep some of Alec’s loose hair from his forehead “that we’re doing what we love.”

He really thinks so. It’s sad that not everyone can, or is able, to pursue their dreams. Alec almost didn’t, because of his parents' disapproval. He admires him for standing up to them and choosing for himself. Not everyone has the courage to do that.

Alec’s palm drops to Magnus’ thigh, running his fingers there gently, looking somehow nervous. Magnus realises that his own hand is now resting on the side of Alec’s neck delicately. The distance between them seems to be limiting itself with every second. Still, he’s not sure where this night may be leading them and he decides to take it slow, but also move them forward and see what Alec is comfortable with.

He gently plucks Alec’s wine glass from his hand, placing his own and his on the coffee table, and when he returns fully to the couch, it feels like they’re even closer now.

Alec is looking at him now, his lower lip trapped between his teeth. Magnus wraps his arm around him, pressing them even closer, till they can basically breathe the same air and it’s easy for Magnus to hear Alec’s gasp. His boyfriend settles his hands on Magnus’ neck, still staring at him.

“You’re beautiful,” Alec’s words take him aback a bit and he’s not sure what to say. But it’s one of the things he loves about him, how blunt he can be sometimes, how unexpected it is to hear a compliment from him. Unexpected, but always lovely.

Eventually, Magnus decides that no words are needed and chooses to show just how much he appreciates Alec by pressing their lips together. His boyfriend seems to like this response since he’s much more than eager to return the gesture.

Magnus keeps him close with the arm around his waist, but Alec gives as good as he gets, pressing them together tightly with his palms on the nape of Magnus’ neck, making their mouths crash against each other’s again.

He’s not sure how long they spend like this, but some time later his hand climbs underneath Alec’s shirt, which Alec approves with a pleased sound against his mouth. Magnus supposes that now they have a pretty fair course on what might happen, and if does, then he for sure wants to treat Alec in the best and the rightest way.

Magnus breaks of the kiss, feeling Alec’s lips chasing after him, but he pulls back lightly, prompting a slightly alarmed look in his boyfriend’s face. But before Alec gets to worry too much, Magnus smiles and dismisses any of his concerns with his next words.

“Do you want to stay the night?” He asks, Alec’s expression instantly turns into one of relief as he begins to nod.

“Yeah, I’d like that very much,” They both smile at Alec’s answer, sharing a few more slow and sensual kisses that make Magnus forget all of his plans and basically lose his head.

This time, Alec is the one to pause their kiss, smiling at Magnus’ now surprised face.

“Do you want to maybe…” Alec begins, not exactly looking him in the eyes, but still a teasing grin on his lips “show me the bedroom?” He suggests lightly.

And Magnus swears, he was planning on it, it’s not his fault that his boyfriend is so distracting…

But he decides to drop all of his explanations, not to keep his man waiting anymore.

“With pleasure,” Magnus replies, letting himself place one last kiss on his boyfriend’s waiting lips, standing from the couch and offering Alec’s his hand to pull him up. Then he laces their fingers together and sets the course on the bedroom, but not letting himself take his eyes of Alec as they walk, cataloguing his maybe slightly nervous, but mostly excited and anticipating smile. Magnus is sure his face is supporting the same expression. He just really wants to do this right.

It’s the first time Alec spends the night, and it is unforgettable.

*

The door to the loft slams shut loudly after Alec furiously comes in behind Magnus. He’s buzzing. With anger, frustration, you name it. Which is totally unfair, because he can’t be angry at Magnus for caring about his well-being.

Tonight, Alec was invited to some sort of gala for a book plebiscite and he asked Magnus to come with him. Of course, Magnus agreed wanting to be close to his boyfriend and also knowing how Alec hates any social gatherings with lots of strangers around.

And it was fine, it really was. There was a lot of talking about books, which Alec seemed to enjoy and even if Magnus sometimes had no idea what was being discussed, he stayed polite, not interrupting, only asking questions at times when he was truly interested in something, not wanting to come out as incredibly stupid too.

All in all, he was on top of his game. But there are certain things he just can’t stand.

“You can’t do that,” Alec eventually turns to face him from where he’s been pacing through the living room, still too high on the negative emotions to calm down. He’s wearing an elegant suit and although Magnus has spent half of the night admiring him, he’d certainly like to continue if the circumstances were better.

“Alexander, I told you I always want the best for you-“ Magnus tries calmly, but Alec only shakes his head with frustration and interrupts him.

“Yeah, so it was you who told me I should get an agent because I’m barely keeping it all together. It’s true. So when I try to make some-“ Alec’s tone still doesn’t ease up and Magnus feels the irritation boil up inside of him, ready to snap too.

“But not someone like him!” He can’t help but yell.

True, he’s been talking to Alec about getting an agent to help him sort things out with his upcoming second book and all of the other projects he’s working on. And Alec’s been hesitant, but eventually, he began to see the upsides of having some help. He promised to look for some suitable people and ask around. Today was a great opportunity indeed, with so many people of the publishing world in one place. And Alec found someone interested in managing him.

But that wasn’t the only kind of interest that man had shown in Alec.

It’s not that Magnus is jealous. Okay, maybe a little bit, but still, that’s not the reason for his blown up now.

“Alexander, this man was clearly not only interested in helping you with your work,” Magnus tries to calm his voice down. There’s no need for them to yell, but somehow he can’t help it.

“And how do you know that?” Alec asks, resignedly throwing his hands up.

“Because I have eyes,” Magnus snaps “he was looking at you like a piece of meat and all of these flirty smiles and casual touches? They weren’t as casual as you may think.”

Alec tends to do that and Magnus hates this about him, how he tries to play everything down, ignore some situations. Sometimes, he really hates how naïve Alec is and how he truly seems to believe in the goodness of this world.

The harsh truth is, that not everyone he’s going to meet in his life is going to be kind and have no ulterior motives. Alec is a young, successful man, but he still is inexperienced, which makes him an easy target.

Magnus has seen a lot in his life during his work as a doctor. All sorts of accidents, traumas, denials and tears. One thing he knows for sure is that he never wants his Alexander to find himself in any situation he may be taken advantage of.

“He’s a good agent,” Alec says then, still with annoyance “that’s what people said-“

“Yeah, maybe he is as long as he gets what he wants from his clients,” Magnus states firmly. He usually hates to be so vain and only judge people by their appearance and a quick conversation. But he also trusts his gut and something about that guy just screamed that he’s a sketchy man. And the way he had been looking at Alec… No, just no. Magnus claims himself a great judge of character and when he knows, he just knows.

That’s why when he noticed him trailing his palm down Alec’s arm he couldn’t just stand by and watch anymore. Especially when he saw how Alec flinched at the touch. It was barely visible, probably not noticeable for someone from the outside, but Magnus knows his boyfriend’s body language too much. He dragged Alec away and, not so politely anymore, said goodbye to the man, informing that they have to get home and not listening to any of Alec’s protests.

Alec sighs heavily, running a hand over his face, clearly struggling with some sort of response. Well, if he’s not going to talk then Magnus has more of the things he wants to say.

“Did you feel comfortable?” He asks and it clearly takes Alec by surprise, judging by the way he frowns as he looks back at Magnus as he shrugs. “It’s a simple question. Did you or did you not?”

“It’s not important,” Alec rolls his eyes annoyedly.

“Of course it is, Alec,” Magnus urges, not paying attention to his boyfriend’s resigned gaze “if this is someone you could be possibly working with, you have to feel comfortable-“

“This is not how it works, Magnus,” Alec cuts in, shaking his head “I don’t matter there. I’m not some big deal. I have one book out and a second on the way. I don’t have agents lining up to me.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to settle for someone like him,” Magnus instantly retorts. It’s a terrible train of thought. Okay, Alec may be right that he’s not that known yet, but he can’t just take what life throws at him, especially when it’s something bad.

“Maybe it does?” Alec sounds like he’s not sure if he’s questioning him, or Magnus, or if he’s even questioning it at all. “I’m tired. I need help.”

“I get that, sweetheart,” Magnus assures him, his voice softer now. He comes closer and takes his hand “but you can’t choose someone who makes you uncomfortable to work with you. No matter how good of an agent he may seem to be. We talked about you putting your health first, this certainly isn’t a step in the right way.”

Magnus can’t even imagine Alec hiring someone like that man, someone he’d just have to endure and it would slowly make him miserable. Luckily, he won’t have to imagine it, since he’s never going to let something like this happen.

“I don’t know, Magnus,” Alec exhales, breaking the hold of their hands to walk to the window and turn away “still you shouldn’t have done that. Basically dragging me out of the room with all those people around. How do you think it looked like?”

Alright, Magnus can admit that he wasn’t thinking clearly. He sees red every time someone gets to close to Alec in a bad way. He’s not sure if he’s ever been this protective of anybody. Maybe it has to do with the abuse Alec endured in the past from his father. Maybe Magnus just never wants for him to find himself in a similar situation, to feel any kind of a bad touch.

So what he did wasn’t probably the best solution, but it was the only one he could think of at that time.

“I couldn’t just stand by,” Magnus says honestly “not when someone is making you uncomfortable-“ He tries to deflect.

“Okay, I just…” Alec sighs again. He looks incredibly tired. Magnus is not sure if it’s tonight that’s worn him out or the recent weeks of hard work that he’s been indulged in “I’m too tired for this. I’m gonna go,” He tears his eyes away from the city he’s been watching through the window and walks through the living room to get to the door, but as he passes Magnus, he catches his arm.

“No, I’m…” He’s not sure what to say or what was even his intention, but something screams in him not to let Alec go. He’s not alright. They both see it and Magnus began to feel recently that there’s something weighting over him. But it tends to happen when he’s overworked, so Magnus decided to let it slide. It was a mistake, he should have urged Alec to talk to him about whatever is bothering him or if he’s feeling like another depressive episode is right at the corner. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I shouldn’t have acted so impulsively. Just please, stay.”

Alec looks at him with exhausted eyes and a miserable expression that Magnus is not sure what to think of yet. Just hoping that whatever is wrong can be fixed with a goodnight’s sleep.

“Please, just stay with me. Okay?” Magnus doesn’t care how pleading his voice is. Right at this moment, he feels that if Alec leaves, something is going to break in the both of them.

Magnus lets out a quiet, relieved breath when Alec nods, not wasting more time and bringing him into his arms in a hug. And when he feels the tension in Alec’s shoulder release just a little bit, he counts it as a win.

“I’m sorry,” Alec mumbles into his shoulder “I know you’re right, I just… my head’s a mess again.”

“Shh,” Magnus just holds him tighter “it’s fine. You’re okay.”

They continue to stand in the living room, wrapped around each other for a long while. Not that Magnus minds, or cares. As long as Alec stays, nothing else really matters. They’ll figure out whatever’s wrong and fix it. Just like they always do.

*

Saturdays are mostly reserved for lazing off in bed till noon. At least when Magnus has a day off. And it’s always been a lovely time, to regenerate after a tough week at the hospital, finally getting the well-deserved rest. Waking up late, with no exact plans for the day, slowing down to actually practice some self-care, has been one of Magnus’ favourite parts of the day.

But what makes Saturdays even better now, what makes basically everything better, is Alec.

Waking up with someone by his side is definitely better than he imagined. And it’s not that it’s the first time he finds waves of tangled, dark locks in his face. Alec has stayed the night countless times at this point. He basically spends all the time he can here, which Magnus wholly approves of. Letting go of Alec now feels like such a surrealistic concept.

He’s done some thinking. He won’t pretend he hasn’t. On a rare night alone, when his shift had elongated and he didn’t have the heart to call Alec on 2 am and tell him to come to the loft, because he finds sleeping without him incredibly difficult now, also he knows Alec could come if he called, but he really shouldn't take advantage of his kind heart like that. Anyways, he spent the night thinking, or more precisely, overthinking.

It’s was a morning like this, a few weeks ago when he realised he wants Alec to move in. His boyfriend looked similar as he does today, flushed with sleep and hair a mess and Magnus just thought _God, I never want to stop looking at him_.

But there hasn’t been the right time to ask yet. Alec’s parents have just got divorced, he barely climbed out of his depression again and is still fragile. Magnus doesn’t want to put any more strains on him and force him to make some life alternating decision.

It doesn’t change the fact that he’s been thinking. Especially when he’s alone and Alec’s not near to distract him either with his voice or with his touch. So when he came home after that long shift, his mind just couldn’t seem to shut up.

_Just ask, Magnus. Tell him to think about it. Drop some hints that you want him here, that you want him to stay._

And he’s been trying to do those things. Well, not all of them. But he made sure to let Alec know how he loves having him near, how he just adores it when he’s occupying the space of his loft. He keeps asking him to stay every night, although it’s clear that Alec’s not going anywhere.

But he knows his boyfriend and now he’s scared that he might have been pushing a bit too hard. Alec hasn’t said anything, hasn’t tried to put more distance between them… But deep down Magnus feels that he’d like to know what he stands on, to have a clear picture.

Alec stirs lightly and Magnus abandons his thoughts for a while to focus on the man in his arms as he makes an adorable, yawny, sleepy sound. Magnus smiles and lets out a chuckle as his hand wanders to Alec’s hair, caressing it gently.

“Morning,” Alec mumbles with a dreamy, contented sigh.

“Good morning, my love,” Magnus presses a kiss to Alec’s temple.

None of them seems eager to move and although they are both awake now, they’re still just basking in the morning silence and each other.

“I have to go soon,” Alec rests his chin on Magnus’ chest to properly look at him. His eyes are still fogged with sleep, but there’s a soft, easy smile on his lips. Magnus gets a little bit lost in his boyfriend’s image, but what eventually makes him pause are Alec words when he registers what he said.

“What?” He can’t help the surprise in his tone, but Alec only chuckles.

“I’ve got a meeting, with my publisher,” He explains, his fingers tracing random patterns on Magnus’ chest, “I told you yesterday.”

And yeah, now that he’s said it, Magnus can recall him mentioning it yesterday. He was just too tired from his never-ending shift at the hospital and his brain too busy with the thoughts of the upcoming relaxing weekend.

“But it’s Saturday…” Magnus can’t help but whine.

“I know, baby, but I have to,” Alec’s voice doesn’t lack an amused note.

And Magnus gets it. Alec’s second book is getting close to finished now and there are some crucial things that he has to settle. Of course, Magnus respects it, respects him and his job, but…

“What about a lazy Saturday morning?” He asks with a pout that his boyfriend must find adorable since he chuckles.

“We have,” Alec rolls over to get his phone and check the time, but is back plastered to his side in less than two seconds, so Magnus doesn’t have time to complain “around thirty minutes of morning cuddles left.” He states.

Now Magnus can complain. He starts with a pleading look, but Alec only rolls his eyes and leans in to place his lips to Magnus’ sad twisted ones.

“Can’t you stay?” Magnus says quietly against his lips when they part. Alec shakes his head with his eyes closed, probably avoiding looking at his pleading expression “Please, stay a little longer.” He wails now.

“Babe, I really can’t,” Alec laughs again.

Magnus is not sure why he’s so adamant to let Alec go today. Maybe he’s just petty because his perspective of a lazy morning with his boyfriend is broken now. That’s a totally valid reason. Or at least he tries to convince himself as so.

In the end, they both know he will let Alec go. With a heavy heart, more than a dozen kisses and the greatest pout in the universe, but he will.

“An hour,” Magnus says just when Alec’s about to kiss him again “an hour of cuddling may convince me.”

Alec scrunches his face adorably in thought and Magnus barely resists the urge to kiss him.

“Hmm, forty minutes,” He bargains after assessing his options and smiles, cracking his eye open only to see Magnus shaking his head.

“Fifty minutes,” He tries to argue.

“Forty-five and that’s my last offer, or we’re going back to thirty,” Alec states eventually, trying to sound authoritative, but failing miserably with Magnus’ lips already trailing down his neck.

“Alright, but you owe me more even more cuddling time when you get back,” Magnus retorts. He can’t quite get enough of Alec’s entertained expression and how soft he looks when he shakes his head amusingly at him, his hair falling into his eyes so Magnus just has to reach and sweep them from his forehead, prompting an even brighter smile to appear on his boyfriend’s features.

Alec leans in, granting him a quick, sweet kiss only to pull back and whisper against his lips:

“I can live with that.”

*

Magnus groans, rolling to his side on the couch, his whole body aching with only just the slightest movement.

Despite the somehow common conviction, doctors do get sick. And Magnus won’t really argue that he turns into a baby when he’s sick.

And it’s just a cold, nothing serious, but God. He rarely gets ill and he hates going through this. His throat is all hoarse, his nose clogged and he can barely breathe which is just so annoying. His fever went down a little, but he’s still shivering under the blanket.

There’s tv playing in front of him, but he can’t focus on whatever is going on in this house makeover show, dozing off basically every fifteen minutes. He’s just tired, which is frustrating because all he did today was tossing and turning on the couch.

He hates being grounded like this. Normally, on a Friday night like this, he and Alec would probably be out on a date. Eating dinner in some fancy restaurant, or seeing some movie, eventually cooking dinner themselves and then end up making out on the couch.

Well, none of these plans will happen tonight, because of this stupid cold.

Magnus gets startled when the door to the loft gets opened. There are only two people who own keys, other than him. One is Catarina, who currently has a shift at the hospital, and the other is Alec.

Magnus texted his boyfriend earlier, telling him that he’s not feeling well and that they’ll have to cancel whatever plans for tonight he might have come up with. He assured him that it’s nothing serious, just an old, plain cold and that he’ll be fine in no time. Alec wished him to get well soon and Magnus’ heart swelled for the heart emoji at the end of the message.

So he didn’t expect Alec to suddenly come bursting into his loft.

He gave him the key early on, same as Alec did for his apartment. Just for emergencies, they said back then. And sure, emergencies did happen too, but now they use them quite daily. Especially Alec since they mostly hang out at the loft. Magnus doesn’t mind. Not in the slightest, his face immediately lights up when he hears to sound of the key turning in the lock, only indicating that he’ll have an always anticipated visitor.

Today, Magnus’ senses are too fogged, so he didn’t catch the sound of the key, and he immediately regrets trying to lift his head to meet Alec’s gaze, since the pulsing headache only increases when he does.

“Hi,” Alec greets as he crosses the living room in a few, quick strides to reach the couch “how are you feeling?” He asks as he settles himself on the edge of the coffee table, blocking Magnus’ view of the tv, but the house makeover show is the last thing on his mind when he gets a wonderful view of his boyfriend, although his face is concerned. He leans in, probably to greet him properly with a kiss, but Magnus quickly pulls back, leaving Alec’s concerned expression to turn to a confused one.

“Don’t kiss me, you’ll get sick too,” Magnus protests weekly, but at least it makes Alec smile and shake his head a little bit. Then he decides on a quick kiss to his forehead and Magnus can’t deny that it feels nice “I’m fine. Just need some rest. You didn’t have to come.”

It’s not that he’s afraid of being so exposed in front of Alexander, that he’s scared of showing this kind of vulnerability. He’s not. They had countless talks about it and have been together for long enough for Magnus to feel fully comfortable before Alec. It’s just that he could really handle himself so there’s no need for him being here.

“Well, I’m here now so stop complaining,” Alec teases lightly.

“I don’t want you to get sick too,” Magnus moans or tries to before he’s hit with a coughing fit.

“Don’t worry about it,” His boyfriend assures with shrug.

“You know I will. What about work?”

“Magnus, I mostly work from home. Seriously, stop,” Alec throws his head back with an amused groan, but then adds a bit more seriously “unless you really want me to leave.”

He doesn’t remember a time where he ever wanted Alec to leave.

“No,” He shakes his head lightly “please stay.”

His voice sounds a bit more pleading than he intended too, but Alec only smiles and runs his hand through his hair tenderly.

“Okay,” He starts then softly and reaches for a paper bag that Magnus hasn’t even noticed he settled on the table next to him “I brought a lot of warming teas, some basic medicine because I wasn’t sure what exactly you needed,” He explains as he looks through the contents of the bag “shit, maybe I should have called. Is there anything specific you need? I can go to the shop again-“

“Alexander,” Magnus stretches his arm to put it on Alec’s, a smile coming onto his face from his boyfriend’s caring nature “I’m fine, I have everything I need,” He assures him “especially since you’re here.”

Alec’s expression soften instantly, replacing the slight panic with a warm smile. He places yet another gentle kiss to Magnus’ forehead, both of them just staring at each other lovingly for a few pleasant seconds.

“What do you say for some tea then?” Alec proposes.

“That sounds nice,” Magnus agrees, giving Alec’s palm one last squeeze before letting go.

“Okay,” His boyfriend gets up from his spot, grabbing the bag full of supplies to probably also unpack them in the kitchen while he waits for the water to boil “I’ll be right back.” He assures as he sets on his way.

Magnus knows that he will. And he’s thankful for that.

*

It’s been a rough day, to say the least.

But still, Magnus couldn’t deny himself some time with his amazing boyfriend. Alec is also pretty good at providing distractions, and that’s something Magnus really needs tonight.

It’s raining, pouring actually and it seems that there’s going to be a pretty big storm tonight. The loft is quite besides the sound of raindrops, drumming on the windows and the balcony outside.

When Magnus returns to the living room with two warm cups of tea he finds his boyfriend staring through the window, observing how the city gets overcome by the dark clouds. It’s dark outside now anyway, but the clouds in the sky create such a majestic view.

“Afraid of a little storm?” Magnus teases as he walks up to Alec, handing him his mug. Magnus has work tomorrow so he can’t drink any alcohol, and although he assured Alec a thousand times that he can finish the wine that’s been sitting in the fridge since their last date night, his boyfriend decided on a gesture of solidarity and asked for a tea for himself too.

“No,” Alec shakes his head with a smile “it just looks pretty great. And there’s such a nice view from here.” He explains.

Magnus nods, he can’t disagree. He goes to sit down on the couch, dropping onto the cushions with a sigh. Alec takes a few moments to stare through the window but eventually decides to join him, settling himself down so his and Magnus’ knees are touching.

There are a few moments of silence before he speaks.

“If everything okay?” He asks Magnus, visibly concerned, but not letting any panic slip into his voice or features yet.

“Yeah, of course,” Magnus replies with a soft smile, his hand dropping gently onto Alec’s thigh, running it up and down “why are you asking?”

“I don’t know,” Alec shrugs “you’re just kind of quiet today,” It’s not an accusation, just a simple observation and Magnus supposes that it’s true tonight “kind nostalgic, even.”

Yeah, that may be the right word to describe his mood tonight.

Magnus sighs again, debating with himself for a few short seconds, but coming only to one conclusion. If he doesn’t want to share with the man in front of him, then he won’t share it with anybody.

When he decided to look up, he finds Alec watching him curiously, but with a tender smile.

“We had a weird case at the hospital today,” He starts. Alec nods, indicating that he’s listening and waiting for the next part of the story “an elderly man, came to the ER with his wife. But he couldn’t remember anything.”

“Like, amnesia?” Alec frowns.

“Yes, probably,” Magnus nods “and yeah, maybe it’s not a very common thing, but it happens. I’ve seen it before. It’s just…” He hesitates, but Alec takes his hand, looking at him with those genuine eyes that once again remind Magnus just how much he’s listening because he truly wants to listen.

“Hey, you can tell me,” Alec reminds him, but Magnus knows.

“It’s that poor wife,” He admits with another heavy exhale “she was so broken, Alexander. So many years of memories with her beloved husband and now he doesn’t even recognise her.”

The way that small, brittle woman basically just broke down in Magnus’ arms… He can’t blame her, he would be devasted too. If Alec suddenly forgot him… Maybe they haven’t been together that long, but the moments spent with Alexander are certainly some of his best memories.

“Did you find a cause for it?” Alec inquires gently, his thumb caressing the back of Magnus’ palm delicately.

“No, not yet,” Magnus shakes his head “we’re doing the needed tests, the results should come in tomorrow. It may be some kind of brain damage though.”

“I’m so sorry, baby,” Alec says softly “I’m sure you’ll figure it out and cure him.”

They hopefully will, but what if they don’t? What will Magnus say to that poor woman that just desperately wants her husband back? He promised her that he’ll do whatever it takes to heal him, to restore the memories, but what if his best isn’t good enough and he’ll fail?

“Hey, baby,” Alec’s voice shakes him out of his thoughts and only when he reaches to touch his palm to Magnus’ cheek he realises that it’s wet.

“Damn it,” He mumbles under his breath, quickly trying to wipe the tears, standing up from the couch and turning away from Alec. He hates being exposed like this and although he trusts Alec with his whole heart, he still can’t believe he’s being so pathetic again “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m getting so emotional over this.” He tries to play down his actions by letting out a forced chuckle.

“Magnus, it’s okay,” He feels Alec’s palm on his shoulder, a gentle touch “it’s fine. You’re allowed to be emotional, it’s a tough situation, I get it. I don’t want you to hide.”

“I know,” Magnus says, mustering up the courage to turn and face his boyfriend. When he eventually does, Alec offers him a soft smile “I know,” He repeats, resting his palms on Alec’s chest, trying to find the steady beat of his heartbeat to calm him down, till Alec takes his hand and places it directly on his heart as if he knew exactly what he was looking for.

Magnus gives himself a few seconds to get himself together. Alec is quiet, letting him take his time. When he finally feels that he’s not going to cry when he talks anymore, he decides to voice the thought that just can’t leave his head.

“It’s just… my job keeps reminding me how fragile life is. How everything is okay in one moment and the next basically your whole world can crumble down. And I can’t stop thinking… What if it was me? Or you? What if you-“

“Babe, I’m not planning on getting amnesia,” Alec clearly tries to loosen up the mood a bit, but Magnus just shakes his head.

“That’s the thing,” He starts, “you think that man did? Of course not. I’m sure he loves his wife and now she’s like a stranger to him. I can’t even imagine you not recognising me, or me not recognising you. Not remembering all those memories we’ve already made.” He stops before his voice can break again.

Alec sighs, he purses his lips, clearly not sure what to say. Magnus can’t blame him, he wouldn’t know himself. He knows that the chances for something like that happening to either of them are small, but still there. And if not this, then so many other things that might hurt them in one way or another.

“Baby,” Alec wraps his arms around him, keeping him close and Magnus no longer feels the need to run away. He needs the comfort of Alec’s touch now, of his presence “if we keep worrying about the what-ifs, we won’t appreciate the moments we have. We have to savour them, cherish. And no matter what happens in the future, we’ll always have them. Something good to come back to. For either of us. Let’s focus on the here and now, live in the moment.”

Magnus knows he’s right. But how can he focus on what’s now, when he wants so many things in the future? When he keeps coming up with all of the amazing things he and Alec can do, the places they can see… it’s so hard to focus on what’s now.

The sounds of thunder roars around them soon followed with the flash of lighting that covers the room in white for less than a span of the second.

Magnus drops his head onto Alec’s shoulder, not sure if he wants to hide his tears or just have him even closer. Alec hugs him tighter, placing his palm on the back of his head, letting his fingers comb through his hair lightly.

“I just don’t want to lose you,” Magnus whispers and it makes Alec’s embrace tighten even more.

Magnus doesn’t know if this whole story was a build-up of him confessing he’s just scared of losing the best thing that has ever happened to him. He’s not really sure where did this sudden outburst came from, doesn’t want to think about it, all he wants is Alec.

“I want you to stay,” _forever_ , as long as they have, just with Alec by his side “please, stay.”

“I will,” Alec assures him with so much force in a quiet, but yet so powerful voice “I swear. For as long as you let me, I will stay.”

 _Forever_.

He doesn’t want to scare Alec with such a declaration yet. None of them actually has that much time. But Magnus just wants for them to create their little forever, for both of them.

So he doesn’t say anything, nods lightly and buries himself even further into Alec’s embrace, trying to convey all of the love he feels for this man.

The storm is raging around them but, not for the first time and definitely not for the last, Magnus retorts that Alec’s arms are his shelter.

*

“Okay, I think that’s the last one,” Alec announces as he sets down yet another box full of his stuff on the floor of their bedroom.

They spent the weekend going back and forth from Alec’s apartment to the loft, bringing as much stuff as they could so Alec can finally properly move in. Jace has been a lot of help in the process, helping them with packing, moving the boxes and stuff, so instead of this whole moving thing taking a week, it took only a weekend.

Sometimes, Magnus still can’t believe he finally managed to find the courage to ask Alec to move in with him. He couldn’t help it. Alec was just so sweet that morning, taking care of his drunk ass and no, he didn’t ask only because of his amazing breakfasts, he asked because he wants to always have Alec near.

He didn’t need an answer right away, didn’t even expect to get it. He knows Alec and wouldn’t blame him if he took his time thinking it through. So it was quite a surprise that his boyfriend made up his mind so quickly. Pleasant surprise of course.

Magnus looks around the bedroom, littered with boxes and smiles. Alec might have had already kept a lot of his things at the loft, but now it’s literally all he owns. It’s all becoming real, the whole living together experience can officially begin now. He’s even looking forward to unpacking all of the stuff, placing them around the apartment. Earlier this week he made some closet space for Alec, although his boyfriend insisted that he doesn’t own that much clothes, Magnus left him as much space as he could.

Alec drops heavily on the bed, letting out a sigh and Magnus simply follows his actions, settling at his side and looking at his boyfriend who’s staring at the ceiling. It’s been a tiring day and it’s still far from over, but they can allow themselves a little bit of a break.

“How is it going, roommate?” Magnus teases as he pokes Alec in the ribs lightly, making him chuckle.

“Pretty good,” He replies with a smile, turning his head to look at Magnus, letting himself study his face for a few seconds “you’re sure about this?” He asks then, somehow nervous.

“Darling, you should have asked before we brought all this here,” Magnus gestures around the around as he jokes. Alec only rolls his eyes, but Magnus decides to take pity on him and provides a real answer “of course I am sure. I wouldn’t have asked you if I wasn’t.”

Alec nods but then turns back to stare at the ceiling again.

“I hesitated,” He admits after a moment.

“I know,” Magnus says softly. He saw it that morning he asked, how the thoughts were running through Alec’s head, how he probably tried to think through every scenario, assess what it all really means “there’s nothing wrong with that,” Magnus adds, reaching for Alec’s hand and lacing their fingers together.

“I was scared,” Alec continues then “that I could become too much for you and I wouldn’t have a place to get away, to run and hide.”

“Alexander, I never want you to do that,” Magnus instantly reassures him “you’re never too much, angel.” He brings their joined palms to his lips and kisses the back of Alec’s hand tenderly.

“I know,” Alec faces him again, this time there’s a warm smile on his lips “I realised that I shouldn’t hide, and I’ve been trying not to. That’s why I agreed because I don’t want to hide. I trust you.”

Magnus mirrors his gentle expression and leans in to press his lips to Alec’s smile.

“I’m not saying there won’t be any bad days,” Alec picks back up when they part from the kiss “I just hope we can handle it.”

“Of course we can,” Magnus assures him without hesitation. He’s still amazed by how opened Alec is with him, how he tries to push through his own hesitance every day. Magnus struggles with this too. There are so many faces of him that he thought he’d never show anybody, so many vulnerable positions he didn’t think he’d let anybody see. But here they are, and with Alec, it feels somehow easy. Because if someone shows you that the trust is mutual if someone can offer so much of themselves as Alec does then there’s nothing left for Magnus to do than to return with the same. He wants to return with the same not because he feels like he owes it to Alec. He just truly wants him to be present in every aspect of his life, even the bad ones. “I don’t ever want you to hide too, darling. We can talk about everything, okay? Whatever bothers you, just tell me, alright?”

“Okay,” Alec easily agrees, offering another smile “I’ll tell you, I promise.”

“Good,” Magnus states and leans in to seal the deal with a sweet kiss, feeling Alec’s smile against his lips.

“We should unpack all this,” Alec nearly groans as his eyes sweep around the room.

“In a minute,” Magnus retorts, still not pulling back from him, only drawing him into another kiss “we deserve a break.”

Alec most certainly makes an approving sound as Magnus rolls atop of him, pressing even closer and caging his boyfriend as he straddles him.

The boxes may stay unpacked for even a few days. They have all the time they want and most importantly they have each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Let me know what you think in the comments 🥰  
> If there's some particular scenario you'd like to see in this series, you can suggest it down below!


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